By: Shana Adams (@bbgtonline)
Yay you! You’ve lost weight, you’re looking good and feeling fabulous. You’re on the right track and you’re sharing your success with the world. You would think your “friends” would share your joy, but if you’re like me you will find out the hard way that not everybody is happy for you. When I think about this phenomenon, it reminds me of the scene in Paid in Full
where Calvin tells Ace, “I’m happy for you.” There was so much malice in his feigned praise, you could just sense that he was plotting Ace’s downfall. Now I won’t equate my experience to the jealousy surrounding a drug kingpin, but you get my drift. Here are a few moments of jealousy, which in hindsight, should have made me cut the friendship short.
- I would talk about my progress, but they would change the subject and refocus the energy on them. I let this happen a lot and didn’t think much of it. Maybe I was talking about myself too much but in hindsight, that wasn’t the case.
- I would get blank stares when I would talk about my goals. This is why I’ve chosen not to be so open with what I want to achieve. Hustle in Silence, Let the Success Make Noise.
- They would offer me food/drinks that they knew I couldn’t/shouldn’t have. This was a biggie for me. Why would you offer someone something you know they don’t need to be eating?
- I would get uninvited to things or not invited to events all together. This was not that big a deal but it happened. As I lost weight, I was seen as more of a threat instead of “the funny fat chick that I could take with me so that I could look better than her.”
- No encouraging words. This can be linked to the offering of bad food. I would want to exercise or go to the gym, but I would get, “You’re always at the gym. Chill.”
- I would hear, “You’ve changed.” Uh, yeah, that’s the point. Losing weight changes how others see you and how you see yourself. Because of that, your friends may see it as you not being you anymore.
Not all friendships have to be irrevocably broken because of hurt feelings due to weight loss and other life success. Here’s a great article that talks of how to deal with bouts of jealousy http://ow.ly/vbuhe
. I’m not going all doomsday day on your relationships. Your true loved ones will always be there for you. With a little T.L.C and open communication, you should be able to work out any misunderstandings.
Shana is a 25 year old communications professional who took her health into her own hands and started her weight loss journey mid 2010, but really took charge when she was diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes in 2012. She will be launching her health and fitness blog Big Boned Gets Toned! on May 6, 2014. You can view her Big Boned Gets Toned! weight loss vlog on youtube http://ow.ly/vbvYs
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