I’ve been attached for a while now, but I still have single girlfriends complain about how hard it is to find a man in general, let alone with similar interests like running and working out. On top of that, consider all the awkwardness that dating brings. I couldn’t help but relate to the new movie, “About Last Night”
when I started writing this post. I felt like I should have starred in it myself. Girl meets boy, then girl spends the entire movie attempting to play the dating game and solve all the elusiveness/confusion/vagueness that men bring to the yet-to-be-defined relationship.
If you’re that girl, I’m challenging you to look outside the club/church/insert random place here, and look at areas where you spend most of your time. You read my mind! Like at a road race or the gym! Get ready for Dating 101, BGR! style. First, let’s start with the stages of a relationship. I can’t lie, I borrowed this from, “About Last Night”.
STAGES OF A RELATIONSHIP
If you’re lucky, you’ll have a girlfriend or guy friend to handle the introduction for you. If not, here are a few tips to get you started.
On a run:
The key is to keep it casual. The good news is, you already know what he likes to do! Start by asking how long he’s been running or if there are any upcoming races you should register for. End the conversation by mentioning you need a training partner and ask if he’s interested in helping you get faster/stronger/complete a [insert race distance]. If he doesn’t bite, he’s a loser. Otherwise, get those shoes ready and let the running begin.
At the gym:
This one is a little trickier because no one wants to come off as the “weird girl that keeps staring at me at the gym.” It’s important that this happens naturally and before or after his workout is complete. (It might mean you need to linger for a few minutes). Accidentally bump into him before/after and comment about his workout. “Wow, your workout looked intense. I’ve always wanted to add weights/cardio/xyz to my routine, but I’m not sure where to start.” At this point he should take the bite. Hopefully he’ll offer to help you out and you take it from there. Not only will you get a new training buddy, but you might even get a date!
#2: LET THE SELFIES BEGIN:
Not literally, because that would be weird. One of the funniest parts in “About Last Night”
is when Kevin Hart’s character, Bernie, calls out Danny, played by Michael Ealy, for checking his Facebook page for a friend request from Debbie, played by Joy Bryant. But let’s face it (no pun intended), it’s the way of the world and actually how I connected with my husband. After meeting him in a local bar (and not exchanging numbers), I immediately went home to see if I could find him on Facebook. It WORKED! We ended up friending each other and the rest is history. Don’t be afraid to use social media to your advantage. If you DO, take this approach, let him be the first to message you. In the meantime, feel free to selfie away just to make sure he remembers what you look like! :)
#3: LET’S GET PHYSICAL:
Not in the sexual sense, but everyone knows that the best foreplay is working out together. Oh you didn’t know? Now you do! Here’s a few ways to get the energy going as you get to know each other!
- Go for a run or walk:
You’re guaranteed to see the best (or worse of him). Is he competitive, nurturing, serious, relaxed, an athlete or not? At this point, he may exclude himself as a “something more” contender and that’s okay. The point is to see his true colors.
- Schedule a gym date:
If you’re smart, you’ll take advantage of the love you both have for the gym and schedule a gym date. DO dress sexy. Men are very visual and it could lead to an after-workout romp. Just saying…..
- Enroll in a couples yoga class
: There’s nothing like a little Ujjayi
breathing to get you feeling all relaxed and maybe feeling frisky. And there are tons of benefits
to practicing partner yoga with your significant other. Get your zen on and see where things go next.
- Get healthy with these aphrodisiacs:
I’m not sure I’m a huge believer in aphrodisiacs, but if I can eat healthy AND spice up the bedroom action, I’m game! From pineapples, to whole grains, these foods do a lot more than give you a healthy, balanced diet. Check out this list over on oprah.com
- Make your own workout video:
A couple that plays together, stays together. Make your own workout video to get moving and have some fun. If you’re lucky, you’ll make a masterpiece like this one
#4: Let’s Get Physical…..Again.:
I mean between gym dates, yoga and aphrodisiacs. I’m pretty sure you don’t need any help with this one.
At this point, you just want to maintain. Just like in your workout/health routine, it’s important to never forget what got you to where you are in the first place. If you continue to use things you did in the very beginning to snag him, you should be able to cultivate something meaningful and FUN! That’s the whole point right?
There’s not a day that goes by that a guy doesn’t mention how amazing our Black Girls RUN! members look in their running tights. I know. But, I’ve learned not to get offended. I realize it’s super rare for black men to see a gang of black women getting their run on. Ashley and I have even half-joked about setting up a Black Girls RUN! dating service (maybe 2015???).
If you had to add anything to BGR!’s dating guide, what would it be?
p.s. Learn more about the characters by visiting this super cool Seasons of Love blog http://bit.ly/1bNbBWT
. But seriously, About Last Night is one of the funniest movies out right now! I’d love to hear how YOU could relate to it!
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